Thursday 28 April 2016

My Journey of Hope: Day 23 of 28 - Wherein Everything Comes To A Screeching Halt

I knew when I started this journey that things might have to take a break. I had minor surgery scheduled for April 26th, and as I expected, the recovery is taking a lot out of me. I'm pretty tired, and pretty achy. Th e day of the actual surgery, it ate up most of the day, and I had a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. The meds the hospital gave me were still working pretty well, so I was able to socialize when a friend dropped by, and we had a lovely supper together.

I woke this morning , my stomach a bloated, achy mess. I spent the bulk of the day on the couch, binge-watching Firefly, and plotting cross stitch patterns - first up is a little stitchy of Wash on cloudy sky linen. I did wash a rack of hand dishes, and got the rest of the dishes organized for Primus and Secunda. And then I had to rest. I made myself a sandwich for lunch, and then I had to rest again. I feel like a wimp, but I know that overdoing it now will mean I pay for it for days. So I take it easy.

All this said, I will be back at it tomorrow, working on a small job, and hoping to keep the momentum up for this last push.

Thanks for coming along for the ride!

Tuesday 26 April 2016

Keep On Keepin' On

I've been finding that this whole journey is having new and seemingly lasting benefits. Despite slow days, setbacks and times when I just don't feel like doing a thing around my home, I am noticing that the tendency to do little pockets of de-cluttering have really settled in as a new habit.  This daily striving to have a better home, this persistent de-cluttering, chipping away at the years of stuff - it is becoming an ingrained habit for me to look at an object, analyze it, and make a decisive choice about its worthiness to stay in my life and home. I like this new habit.

For those of you joining in on this journey, are you noticing any positive side-effects? Feel free to share!

My Journey of Hope: Day 18 of 28 - The Day Nothing Got Done

I seriously got nothing done today. Not at home.

I spent the first 15 minutes of the school day reading aloud with Quarta's Kindergarten class, touched base with Tertius briefly (who had spent much of the morning trying to convince me of how sick he was), and attended Secunda's Entrepreneur Fair, wherein she sold every last monster journal and monster pencil she had made, plus a handful of woven bracelets, PLUS 9 orders for more items!


I found out at the last minute that I wasn't working today, so thought that I had a little wiggle room in my schedule. In reality, there was enough time to run home, scramble to find the ball of yarn Secunda needed so I could deliver it before lunch, only to have my search interrupted by the school secretary calling to inform me that Tertius just wasn't going to make it through the day after all, and could I please come and pick him up? Okay; race to school with the wrong yarn, pick up the sickie - who seemed very bright and perky for someone who "just couldn't make it through the day" - race home, make lunch, and race to church to prep for my community outreach gig. I've brought Quarta with me before she was in Kindy, but Tertius had never been before, and was a hit with the other ladies present. I worked until the last minute, knowing that I'd likely have to store the supplies at home until Sunday, and race back to the school via the church, only to find a car in the parking lot, so I raced to get the stuff inside and put away properly. Continued my frantic trip to the school to pick up the girls, started the paper route, picked Primus up, followed by Hubby, then home to drop off backpacks, have Primus and Secunda pack for their weekend with BD, then finish up the paper route.

So, while the day was ridiculously busy, not a single bit of de-cluttering got done

Such is life sometimes.

Wednesday 20 April 2016

My Journey of Hope: Day 14 of 28 - Before and After

Here is one of the shameful corners of my house. The really silly thing is, it's not even hidden from anyone. It's out in plain sight, but my Lazy Vision sees right past it, multiple times a day. And if I can't see it, it doesn't exist, right?

But today I am faced with an uncomfortable reality. EVERYONE can see it, and it's the first thing people see upon entering my living room. And it's gross. It makes us look like hoarders, or at the very least, crappy housekeepers. We love doing crafts, and sometimes need to pull a lot of items out to do them, but we're really bad about putting it away again. I mean REALLY bad.


Monday 18 April 2016

My Journey of Hope: Day 14 Retrospective

Hello, friends!

Well, here we are, at the halfway point of my 28 day journey, and I think it's time for some reflection on the first half of things.

The Good:

- I am noticing improvement every time I de-clutter
- I am feeling happier with my home
- I am feeling less stress
- Most members of my family have done one de-cluttering session
- I look to time spent de-cluttering as time spent on me
- I now have the number of a repair man to see to the washing machine (UPDAY: even called and left a message!)
- I like having before, during, and after photos, to show me my progress
- If I have a plan by the morning, I am much more likely to get it done
- I am doing far more on-the-fly de-cluttering; one item here and there throughout the day begins to add up, and I can see that it is becoming easier for me to do it without thinking (or taking photos of it!)

The Bad:

- My family is largely not on board with this; nobody else is de-cluttering with any regularity. This makes the process difficult, as I can't/am not allowed to cull anyone else's stuff
- Being the only one actively doing this, it is very easy to fall into a state of sloth.
- Regular tasks, such as folding laundry aren't getting done. I think this is because I've chosen to de-clutter, and others aren't helping with laundry, which they would normally do
- Having a broken dishwasher and washing machine has  been an enormous obstacle, as I never feel like I'm making headway in the house, but rather, struggling to just catch up
- It is report card time, which means that Hubby is less interested/inclined/motivated to help de-clutter his own stuff
- I am less inclined to de-clutter on rainy days
- a lack of a plan for the day often results in no de-cluttering
- unless I do a significant amount of de-cluttering, I feel that it's not enough to bother taking a photo of

The Ugly:

- I am noticing new things being deposited in the areas I have de-cluttered, and not always by me
- The kids' daily chores aren't being done, compounding the feeling of not being able to just catch up
- I am still struggling to shed my feelings of frustration and resentment about the lack of support and buy-in from my family
- having a sick family member saps my desire to de-clutter

So, from this list, I see that my mental game still has a long way to go. I can knuckle down and just get it done (or at least, as much as I can do without opposition from a family member), but the mindset is taking longer to adjust.

I'm not giving up, though, because I'm worth it, and so is my home.

Thursday 14 April 2016

My Journey to Hope: The Chip On My Shoulder

Thanks to the world of clip art, I have a picture of me that I'd like to share.
Me, if I were a brunette man in a business suit

Yep, that's me all over. There I am, carrying the weight of my home on my shoulders, feeling like I'm doing it all by myself. And to a large extent, I am. I'm the one who works very part-time out of the home, so I'm the one who can be here to maintain the home. I understand and accept that the bulk of the housework falls to me. Well, I'm working on it. Okay, sometimes, I'm downright resentful that the entire family leaves their stuff laying around, because it communicates an assumption that I'll clean it all up for them.

For several years now, I've tried very hard to follow FlyLady's approach to housework: that we need to let go of any resentment, bitterness and anger at our family's unwillingness to clean up after themselves, and to lovingly and joyfully do everything without any expectation that they will lift a finger to do any of it. I tried. I did. And this was the one thing I Just. Couldn't. Get. Over.

Wednesday 13 April 2016

My Journey of Hope: Day 8 of 28 - Before and After

Thank you, dear readers, for coming along on this journey with me! I hope you've enjoyed reading some of my reflections on this process, and to thank you, here is my latest "Before & After"!

Today's cluttered area was around the master bedroom door:
To be fair, the baby gate just showed up there today,
as we had a guest and her toddler visiting. But I haven't used my
longbow (on the left) in years. YEARS.

I knew that a great deal of it was mine, from the aforementioned longbow, to the bins of photographs for scrapbooking. But a respectable amount was also just garbage, and the same again was stuff that only Hubby could make decisions about, so guess what he has ahead of him? And to be fair, he asked me to de-clutter this particular spot, so this really is for him.

Down to a box of felt for crafts, and a bunch of paperwork for Hubby to wade through
This photo was taken about 5 minutes into the job. Really, sweeping the dust bunnies took about as long as going through my own papers!

Ahhhhh...

While there are still three things hanging around outside my bedroom, it's more manageable, cleaner, and more likely to reduce my feelings of stress. And it all got done in about 20 minutes, while listening to a TV show. See? Easy!!!


Tuesday 12 April 2016

My Journey of Hope: Lazy Vision

No, that's not a typo.

I bet the first thing that popped into your head was something like this:

Image from Young Justice
But you'd be wrong. So, so wrong.

Monday 11 April 2016

My Journey of Hope: In Praise of Mirepoix

A couple of years ago, my beloved friend Panda said to me one day, "Do you want to have a day where we make mirepoix?"

Now, you may be asking yourself what exactly mirepoix is. I certainly did! Basically, it's a bunch of finely chopped vegetables.

The standard seems to be 2 cups onion, and 1 cup each carrot
 and celery, but we find 1:1:1 ratio fits best into the bags

My Journey of Hope: Day 6 of 28 - Back to Common Drudgery

Day 6 was kind of a bust, with a few bright spots.

I didn't tackle a specific de-cluttering job, but I found myself doing small amounts of de-cluttering as I went through each room, nonetheless. So, no real progress to show for my efforts, but a cumulative improvement overall. I did, however, make up a list of spaces in the house that I'd like to de-clutter, even sorting them into small, medium, and large jobs. I think I've got at least 20 things on it (and there's probably at least 20 more I haven't even thought of yet!), so I have a good idea of what to do for the rest of my 28 day focus. I did wash some hand dishes, so while it's technically a daily task and not de-cluttering per se, it did serve to clear my kitchen counter some.

Church was good; our friend A was preaching, which is always a positive experience, and his two most recent sermons have been convicting and made me really stop and think about who I am, not just to God, but to me, and how my words and actions appear to those around me. Striving to be better every day.

Sunday 10 April 2016

My Journey of Hope: Day 5 of 28 - Before and After

Here's something short and sweet...

As mentioned in my previous post, it took me until around 9 PM to figure out what to de-clutter, but once I decided, it took virtually no time at all!

Here's what I started with:

Messy and outdated. That's a schedule for a school Hubby hasn't taught at for three years...

and in less than 5 minutes, I ended up with:

Much better! Note how my handy-dandy label maker is at the center of all this ;)

Making my house calmer feels good!


My Journey of Hope: Day 5 of 28

Yesterday was a wash.

The school day was swallowed up in doing laundry, waiting at the medical clinic for almost two hours (at least I got some knitting done!), and dropping prescriptions at the drug store.  Adding to that, it was also early dismissal and student-directed conferences at Secunda, Tertius, and Quarta's school (very impressive report cards all around, by the way). The weather was turning from glorious sunshine to increasingly grey clouds, so by the time laundry was switched, Hubby picked up from work and papers picked up for Primus and Secunda's route, I was done. The turn in the weather always brings with it a headache of varying intensity, and yesterday's was a doozy.

Hubby was, as usual, a stellar spouse, and offered to take Secunda on the route (Primus was off on a school thing for the weekend) so that I could let my migraine meds start working. I figured it was the perfect opportunity to settle in on the couch and post about how I wasn't going to be getting any de-cluttering done (turns out I actually did de-clutter something when I first got home - my bedroom door - but that's another blog entry), and the next thing I knew, I was waking up and it was 10:30 pm! I had slept for four hours on the couch! Fell asleep with the laptop resting on my stomach, even.

Which brings us to today.

The headache was mostly gone when I woke up today, and we had beautiful sunshine again. Of course, it didn't last, and by the time we were running errands in advance of our trip to see Star Wars Episode VII at the second-run theatre (Tertius and Quarta had not yet seen it, and we promised we'd take them to the cinema for it, never mind the fact that my parents just bought it on Blu-Ray), it was in full force again, along with nausea. I took something to deal with it, and hoped I could make it through a noisy film. It was mostly gone by the time the show started, and we thoroughly enjoyed seeing it again. Then it was doing laundry, making dinner and getting the kids to bed before I could even begin to consider what I was going to de-clutter. I was washing dishes and glanced over to admire Day 3's handiwork, my kitchen counter, which has stayed surprisingly tidy. A quick look to the left showed me the next target - the side of the fridge. Since the counter area looked so nice, the stuff stuck all over the fridge stuck out like a sore thumb.

So I took care of it, and it feels even better to walk into my kitchen. I'm really liking how my home is beginning to look, and even more, I love how tidy spaces lift my mood!

So, what do you do for your house that makes you happy?

My Journey of Hope: Day 4 of 28 - Latent De-Cluttering

It's a pretty cool thing to realize in retrospect that you have begun to de-clutter without having to think about it.

Even with a horrid migraine, I still managed to de-clutter something, AND institute a new policy about school papers and homemade artwork that come into our home.

When we finally got home just after 5 PM, one of the first things I did was take down the months-old artwork that had been lovingly (excessively?) taped to my bedroom door. Now, here's the thing: I forgot to take a photo before starting because it didn't occur to me that I was actually de-cluttering! How cool is that? So, since I don't have the before photo, I can at least share the after photo with you. Here it is:

De-cluttered, but not yet cleaned.

It's beginning to feel like these small steps are starting to take hold, and I have to say, it feels good.

Thursday 7 April 2016

My Journey of Hope: Day 3 of 28 - Before and After

I knew when I got up this morning that my afternoon was going to be Very Busy Indeed. So, being the lazy housekeeper I am, I decided to procrastinate a bit *looks sheepish*

A bit of surfing the Book of Faces, putting the finishing touches on this morning's blog post, making some delectable scrambled eggs and toast - and then I got a text from my friend J, asking how I'm doing today. I have to say, her timing was impeccable, because that little nudge of accountability was just what I needed. Knowing that she was doing cleaning of her own helped a lot, too. No more excuses!

Today, I decided to defeat the clutter that lives on the kitchen counter, between the fridge and the microwave. This morning, it looked a little like this:

My Journey of Hope: Day 1 of 28 - Before and After

I ended up having about half an hour to spend on the office, mostly because lunch took longer to cook than I expected, and I got a call midway through to pick a friend up for a ride home.

Here's how things started out in the office:

From the doorway, looking left. There's a loveseat in there, honest!

From the hallway, looking right. Can you believe my new Ikea shoe cabinet is in here? Yeah, neither can I.

Wednesday 6 April 2016

My Journey of Hope: Day 2 of 28 - Before and After

Here I am at 9:35 pm, and I haven't done any de-cluttering yet. I have been run off my feet all day, playing chauffeur to my family, then my parents, then my kids, then Hubby, then kids again, and finally Hubby. This is my first real opportunity to catch my breath. Being a one-car family really does have its disadvantages sometimes!

Hubby is about to sit down and screen a documentary for use in school tomorrow, and I found my target for the day: The end table in the living room. From a glance, I can see a basket of sewing notions, a pack of 100 pencil crayons (that go with my lovely adult colouring book), an empty can, an empty disposable cup, Hubby's polyhedral dice bag,  and other such miscellaneous items that have no business being in my living room.

The First Hurdle

I knew going into this that I might run into resistance, and I fully expected it from Tertius and Quarta; I mean honestly, do you know a 5 or 6 year old that would offer to clean their room? Well, today, Tertius did just that, and asked me to take photos.

I'm sorry, what?! When did the aliens replace my child?

This is the kid that has a fit if I merely suggest that his room might benefit from some tidying in the near future. So you can imagine my initial shock, quickly followed up by a moment of pride. I guess he's seeing how much happier and calmer I am when things get cleaned up, and he really wants to be a part of this process. It doesn't hurt that he wants to be on this blog... *smirk*

Tuesday 5 April 2016

My Journey of Hope: Day 1 of 28

I know that I'm kind of setting myself up here; whenever I have committed to a series of blog posts, I have started strong, but inevitably dropped the ball and not posted on a set day. But this isn't like that. No really, it's not. I will likely NOT post daily. But I will be keeping track of the days, and will label my posts appropriately. I may even fill you in on the intervening days!

I am taking 28 days to gently and persistently work on decreasing the garbage and clutter in my home, and increasing peace and calm. I'm not setting out to do any big jobs. In fact, I am setting aside the big jobs that I had planned in favour of simply reducing clutter. That's it. I want to see what difference can be made simply by letting go of the things that are depriving us of our peace.

My hope is to post at least photos of the before and after for the day. If I'm feeling ambitious, I'll make a video or three throughout the 28 days. But whatever I get accomplished, I will be posting here on my blog, and I encourage you to not only play along, but post your progress here in the comments, so that we can encourage one another to restore peace and calm in what should always be our refuge from the world - our homes.

10 Day Writing Challenge - Day 9

* Note: These are all out of sequence, as I just found this draft. Mea culpa

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now (I will be substituting two emotions for the smileys, as I feel that emoticons are woefully inadequate for conveying mood) 

Resolve: I am resolved to get our house in a condition that  sparks creativity, induces peace and calm, and welcomes all visitors. I am resolved to make my health and well-being a priority. I am resolved to eat healthier, sleep better, and take a little bit of time each day to spend one-on-one with a family member, so that they know how important they are to me.

Contentment: I am content with my life choices, with where I am in this world.

Thanks for reading :)

Monday 4 April 2016

My Heart Goes All A-Clutter

I'm a lazy housekeeper. I have been all my life.

I'm not one of those naturally organized people; you know, the ones whose houses are picture-perfect at all times? I'm not even tidy-inclined, like those folks who can have the house company-ready in under 10 minutes. I'm lazy. I wish there was a magic wand that I could wave to instantly take my home from the near-disaster it often exists in to spotless in a flash of light.

And so I have had to teach myself tricks to get my home clean, and try to keep it that way. And tricks to remember DAILY to implement those tricks to get and try to keep my home clean. And tricks to remind myself to implement the tricks that help me remember to implement the tricks to get and try to keep my home clean. Are you noticing a pattern here?

10 Day Writing Challenge - Day 10

* Note: This was in my draft folder from almost two years ago, and it occurred to me that in not finishing it, I was not honouring myself or my readers with my truth. In posting this, I am doing just that; honouring myself with being open, and honouring you by giving you my authentic self. I have also notd that Day 9 was never published; this shall be rectified in short order.

Day 10: One Confession

This is, I think, the hardest post of the series. Not because I have such a vast collection of skeletons rattling in my closet, but rather, quite the opposite problem.

Oh, there are things about me that only a precious few know. Those things are private and the people who have that information are the ones that need to know it.

But by and large, I am an open book. I don't feel there is anything to be gained by trying to maintain an aura of mystery about myself; I present the real me to the world. If you like what I have to offer, that's wonderful, and if you don't like it, well, that's on you. Non simeus meus est.

So when it comes time for me to make a confession, I guess I have to confess that there isn't much to confess. Convoluted enough for you? Heh. Anyway...

Something that I've been largely keeping to myself and those very close to me is that I exhibit some of the markers for Asperger's syndrome, which is on the Autism spectrum. The only reason this even showed up on my radar is because of someone close to me.

Primus had been having difficulty with interpersonal relationships at school from the start, and our dear friend Uncle J, who shared a house with us at the time, and is himself an Aspie, mentioned that Primus was showing markers for it. We brushed it off for a number of years; and if I'm really being honest with myself, it's mainly because I didn't want to have what others might call a "special needs" child. An autistic child.

SO many years of societal programming, my own experience and observations with special needs kids in school - and how they were treated by other students, my decade of work as a special needs caregiver for adults and preschoolers combined to make me fearful to admit that my child wasn't perfect. But what the hell is perfect, anyway? Primus is remarkably intelligent, capable, musically inclined, and considerate (when allergies aren't interfering with his ability to think clearly). He does what's asked of him around the house with nary an eye-roll (something we really expect to see more of now that he's a teenager), and is wonderfully patient with Tertius and Secunda, despite the 7 and 8 year age gaps. He likes to cook, and still asks to spend one-on-one time with me. And he still hugs his parents.This kid is amazing.

It took Hubby and I about 3 years to really come around to the idea, and I'm glad we did, because SO MUCH of what perplexed us about his behaviour makes so much more sense now. And in learning this about him, it better equips me to help him find strategies to work around the few limitations that ASD presents. Hubby has had more trouble in finding (and understanding the need for) these "work-arounds" than I have; and one day, he looked at me and said, "Bee, I think you have markers for Asperger's." And he was right.

I joined an Aspie Adults group on the Book of Faces, and in reading these people's experiences, I saw so very much of myself in a lot of what they were saying. This gave me not only a deeper understanding of Primus, but perhaps more importantly, of myself.

So Primus comes by it honestly; some of it comes from me.

Decluttering My Way

 I have a confession to make.     I hate housework. Yes, me - the proprietor of Busy Bee Domestic Wizardry, where I cleaned other peoples...