Teetering on the Precipice

Here it is, the Saturday evening before school begins anew, and I feel the muse pull at me, urging me to write down my thoughts.

This is my very favourite time of year, for many reasons. First and foremost, I love autumn. The crispness in the air, the smell of cold on the wind, the bright, sunny late summer days, the way the sun shines through the vividly coloured leaves as they gently drift to the ground. I love the crunch of dry leaves under my boots, the sweaters, the warm drinks, the rainy days that give me an excuse to curl up under a blanket on the couch, put on a much-loved movie, and create something with my hands. I love wrapping my hands around a warm drink, sitting down to a big bowl of stew with dumplings, or having the house cool enough to bake again. It's all about putting away the accoutrements of summer and pulling out the hand-knits and throw blankets; trading iced vanilla lattes for  steaming mugs of chai or apple cider; retiring shorts in favour of my fuzzy polar fleece pajama pants.

*sigh*

It also means that my beloved husband and children will return to the routine of school. I love this for a whole host of other reasons - the house becomes more calm during the day, I get more crafts done, and my home has a chance of staying clean for more than 30 minutes at a time.

This year is different for me, because my youngest, my baby, sweet little Quarta is starting her educational journey in earnest. She will start Kindergarten on Tuesday, and I find the feeling a little bittersweet; I am both eager to have the house to myself during the day, and unsure of how I will actually feel about it when it happens. Will I miss hearing her random, "Guess what Mummy? I love you!" throughout the day? Will I feel a twinge of sadness knowing I am alone in the house - well, alone as one can be when there are two cats living there? Will I be filled with pride for my littlest hobbit, watching her take those first real steps toward independence? I have a feeling that I'll be a mix of all of it, all jumbled together in a messy, tear-streamed, smiling package.

So bring it on, autumn - I'm ready for you.

Busy Little Weaver

As I've mentioned in past blog posts, I really love to do crafts. One of my favourites these days is doing tablet weaving. For our medieval group, that means that I can create period-appropriate decoration for the Norse garments we wear. Here are a few of the most recent ones I've been working on:

Royal blue and white crochet cotton in a bold argyle pattern

Deep red cotton chevrons nestled in cream and bright red cotton

Various warps of trim I created for sale at a recent event

So, what's been keeping you busy this summer?

The ABCs of Me - A is for Anxiety

A is for Anxiety, Part One

So, to start this blog series off, I'm just going to jump right into the deep end.

I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in 1999. Here's what happened...

Sometime in late 1993, I began working as a residential caregiver in group homes. For the first five years, I worked with two clients, both relatively high functioning, and it was mostly one-on-one care. We had a really great staff team, and I found that I really loved the work. When that company folded in 1998, I moved over to my boss' other, larger company. I began working with a variety of adults and minors, in a number of settings, both residential and occupational, and on a broad spectrum of disabilities. It was the most rewarding work I had ever done. I was making a positive difference in the lives of others. In addition to it being a great job, it paid well, had benefits, and I liked my co-workers.

I had seen my share of violent behaviour in the workplace; I had a client threaten to self-harm with a large kitchen knife (it was an empty threat, but I disarmed him and locked up all implements that could be used for harm as a safety measure), almost got hit with a kettle full of boiling water (a co-worker took it in the back), been scratched, etc. This was just part of the job in some cases. Our company was pro-active and gave us yearly classes on non-violent crisis intervention, teaching us how to deal with and de-escalate behaviour, and if that didn’t work, how to get out of choke holds, limb holds, hair grabs, bites, how to use a violent client’s own kinetic energy to avoid injury, and how to properly subdue a client to restore calm. I felt confident that I could avoid serious injury in the workplace as a result.

Experiencing Technical Difficulties

I love having a blog, I really do.

But maintaining it has been difficult of late due to the series of problems we've been having with our computers.

We are working on getting a functioning computer (one that doesn't run like molasses in January), so I hope I can get back to posting more regularly this week. To that end, I will be starting a new post theme: the ABCs of me. This will focus on one thing about me and my life, starting at the beginning of the alphabet and ending, well, at the end. I hope that you folks still hanging in there with me will enjoy learning more about me, and I'd love to learn more about you in the comments section.

Cheers!

Turning Petrified Mini-Doughnuts Into Perfect Dessert!

Hubby's favourite dessert is bread pudding.

In our almost 8 years together, I've made it for him exactly zero times.  Whenever we've eaten French Toast and had leftovers, Hubby has diligently saved them in so many Ziploc bags in the freezer, waiting for the day he would be rewarded for his thoughtfulness. And every 6 months or so, I go through the freezers and toss out those frozen relics of brunches past, sighing at the waste of perfectly good bread and egg, cinnamon and vanilla extract.

Sure, I've talked about making it innumerable times over the years, but since I've never made it before in my life, I found the task somewhat daunting.

Until today.

I was teaching Secunda and her friend how to use our Epicure Mini-Doughnut Mold to make yummy little treats (which will be served at my weekly social get-together tomorrow), giving them measuring, mixing, order of cooking operations and oven skills. For instance, they learned today to ensure that ALL the ingredients are ready before you start mixing stuff together all willy-nilly. I rescued the batter, and made three dozen of the little bites of heaven. But I managed to bugger up one batch of them. I had a bowl full of two dozen soft, chewy cake doughnuts, and a dozen hockey pucks. they smelled lovely - all sugar and vanilla and cinnamon. And totally inedible in their current state. It seemed such a shame.  That got me to thinking, and that thinking got me to an idea. Why not break them up and turn them into an improvised bread pudding?

These were the doughnuts that get to stay doughnuts

So, off I went to Allrecipes.ca, my go-to resource for all of the things I don't know how to cook.  And when I typed in the keywords, this recipe is what came out with both the highest rating, and the most reviews. Clearly, this was the place to start.

I used their conversion feature to alter it to feed two people (I don't know about you, but I can certainly eat 6 mini-doughnuts in one sitting!) and headed into the kitchen. In about five minutes, I was ready to put the baking dish into the oven.

Using our boiling pasta pot to melt the butter

Mixing the egg/milk/cinnamon mixture with the broken-up doughnuts

Ready for the oven

This was SOOO easy! Now I just have to wait for Hubby to get home from choir practice so we can enjoy it with a nice, hot cuppa!

All baked and waiting for the vanilla sauce!

Delectable caramelized vanilla sauce - delish!

Making The World A Little More Compassionate

I finally feel like I'm on the other side of what has been one of the most stressful times in my life; the strike/lockout of BC teachers, stalled negotiations, and the absolute financial uncertainty that goes along with it. As a result of it, and other situations I've experienced in my nearly 43 years on this planet, perhaps I've become a little hyper-aware of when people are going through emotional difficulties. Either that, or it's happening way more than before.

Of late, I've been noticing an alarming number of friends on my Facebook newsfeed sharing their troubles online. Let me clarify; I am not alarmed that they are sharing their troubles, but I *am* alarmed by just how many people seem to be facing hardship right now. And it's not just money. These beloved friends are laying themselves open and sharing their feelings of anxiety and depression. And it breaks my heart to see them going through that. I want to help, and I feel like I'm in a unique position to do so. I should explain...

Right in the Feels

Not sure if it was the sentimental tone of Call the Midwife tonight, or that I'm traversing the last week of BC pills this cycle, or that when my hand slid down the month of June on my new calendar as I wrote in peoples' birthdays, that it rested for a moment on June 29th, my Bumma's (grandma) birthday and I remembered that it's coming up to 10 years since I needed to write it down; for whatever reason, I'm feeling very emotional tonight, and I can't quite put my finger on it. And I'm sitting here, swiping absently at the errant tears slipping down my cheeks as I try to see straight enough to write this. And then the oddest thought pops into my head - that if my high school English teacher were to read this, she'd have to fight hard not to chastise me for my atrocious syntax.

I think that it might be my mind's way of steering me away from feeling all the feels, and gently guiding me back to a more comfortable place, the place where a wry smile, a shrug of the shoulders and a little laugh, along with a cup of tea make whatever weighs on me just that little bit easier to shoulder.

I don't know why it is that I'm trying to hold this in check, to keep the quaver out of my voice when talking to Rick so he doesn't spend the next 20 minutes trying to coax what's wrong out of me, because I don't think I need long hugs, or to wallow, or anything like that. I honestly don't know why I feel sad tonight, and that's okay.

Looking forward to a brighter day tomorrow.