I Scream

"Fudgy Wudgy was a bear..." No, that's not right.

Our plan today was that once Hubby was home from his last day at school, we'd all pile into the van and go across the border to our favourite dairy for great huge gobs of ice cream (plus load up on milk, cheese, butter and the like, saving us about $30 over prices at home).

Things went a wee bit cock-eyed, though, when my ex-husband (BioDad, or BD) called this morning to see if he could pick up Primus and Secunda to go visit his mother. He told me that she had called his father to tell him that she was going to die today, and she wanted to say goodbye to the children. I should explain... she has Huntington's Chorea (also known as Huntington's Disease) and was diagnosed about 13 years ago. She lives in the hospital, on an extended care ward. She is also being treated for depression and psychosis, so while the announcement was startling, it is being taken with the bushel of salt it merits. Anyway, back to our story: it's Secunda's weekend to go see BD, and they're out of school, so I figured an hour-long visit in the morning would be no bad thing. That way, Primus would get to spend some time with them (BD doesn't usually ask to see them more than the schedule sets out), and we'd still be able to stick to our plan. I went out with the two littlest hobbitses to pick a few things up, intending to get back here for when the big guys returned. While in transit, I got a text asking if they could stay with BD for lunch as his father wanted to take them out. It was still early enough to stick to the plan, so I said yes. What ended up happening is that they went out for ice cream, then to do some of BD's shopping at Wally World, and *then* to lunch. This put a significant crimp in our plans, and when Hubby got home from work early, he really wanted to get going and celebrate the end of school. This was not happy-making in our house.

So, after a couple of texts and one phone call, we managed to find a middle ground; they'd have lunch, we'd pick them up from the restaurant and head out from there.

And then Secunda had to turn into a recalcitrant three year old.

Why is it that whenever we really, *really* need to go somewhere, she thinks that's the perfect time to re-enact Monty Python's "How Not To Be Seen" skit? Anyway, I spoke to her twice, and she didn't come out of hiding until BD's new wife said, "Your mother is *speaking* to you." I've got to give her credit; I appreciate her having my back like that. But it's unfortunate that she had to do it. I'm really hoping that this is just a blip on the radar and not a portent of what is to come with her adolescence.

The rest of the day went fine, we saw her off to BD's house safely and Hubby and Primus are now out for some guy time. I'll be dropping the wee hobbitses at my parents' house for a sleep-over so we can help our friend move tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to a quiet evening with Hubby - a rare occurence in this house! But I still have this lingering uneasiness about how easily Secunda can disregard me. I think this bears some heart-to-heart time in the near future, because I want to ensure that while I am nurturing her independence, I'm also teaching her to continue to show respect for people.

*sigh* This wasn't in the manual.