The State Of The Bee

So, I've been quiet for the best part of the month, but I haven't been idle.

The last two weeks of school are always a mad rush of field trips and fun days, classroom parties and child meltdowns as the realization hits that their entire routine is about to change drastically for the next 10 weeks. And this year has been no exception.

Primus had his last day of middle school classes on June 15. On June 16, I woke him up nice and early to accompany me to the intermediate sports day at the elementary school. It's not as bad as you're all thinking; there were a handful of his friends there as well, and he did a great job of busying himself lining kids up for their heats in the running races while I handed out ribbons. When I had to leave at recess to go to work, he stayed to set up and then run one of the stations for the kids (the "throw the football through this hoop" station). It was only after that was finished that he went over to a friend's house to hang out, and he was great about keeping me apprised of his location.

There were classroom parties, movies, ice cream parties (earned with classroom "money"), year-end hikes, assemblies, awards handed out (Secunda achieved 'A' honours for the year, and 'G' effort for the year; Primus achieved 'A' Honours for the year, and received the Grade 8 Band Award for excellence), and the requisite trip to the waterslides.

Hubby had the task of packing up his entire classroom (with the help of Primus one of the days), because while he is a continuing teacher in our district, he does not have his own contract. That means that every year, he gets "laid off" as it were on June 30, and waits for the phone call a few days later to find out what school, subject, and grade he'll be teaching come the fall. We've been fortunate that for the 6 years he's been on the lay-off/recall list, it's always been a full year of full-time teaching. He's actually got a decent shot at being at the same school next year, and possibly even teaching the same thing, so we are now waiting for that phone call.

Life on the home front hasn't been quiet, either. I've picked up a second cleaning client, this one weekly, and so I'm driving for half an hour each way to work there. It's a nice drive, and I don't mind it, and they have a lovely dog that only barks until she gets her biscuit :)

My parents have been having a time of it, however. My father was hospitalized for two weeks in February, and Mumsy has a laundry list of ailments, and all the requisite medications that treat them. They are in their 70s now, and I've really seen them go from vital middle-aged people, to elderly people, and it's been hard to see it, and to know how frustrating it must be for them.

Right now, we're dealing with my father's second hospitalization (four days so far), and my mother's bladder cancer diagnosis. So at the moment, I am not only working part-time and taking care of my own family, but also being Dad's legs and hands, and Mumsy's wheels, getting her to and from appointments and visits to Dad, washing up dishes, cleaning expired food out of the fridge, taking out the garbage, and when I can, doing housework to help them stay on top of things.

And it is exhausting me. Please don't misunderstand - I am so glad that I'm able to help. I liked having a quiet visit with my dad this morning while Mumsy had her CT scan downstairs. I don't mind taking Mumsy to the store, even if it means that it takes an hour longer than I anticipated. She so rarely gets out to the stores without feeling rushed by Dad, whose energy necessitates that trips out are quick and to the point. She and I love to troll the dollar stores :) But even though I am happy to do it, it still takes a toll.

I think the solution is to establish a schedule once Dad is home from the hospital. For one, we (being my brother and I) need to get our stuff out of storage in their house. We also need to help them downsize, because their home is WAY too much house for them. So we are wanting to help them prepare to put the house up for sale and move somewhere more suitable to their needs. And that needs some structure.

So, if you don't see me on here as often, this is why.

Of Frailty and Mortality

February was a medical roller coaster ride, one that I would most definitely not want to ride again.

February 1st dawned, a lovely sunny day. It was a Tuesday, and in the world of Busy Little Bee, that means Sanity. I picked up my friend T and brought her back to the house so we could grab a coffee before I dropped her at her dentist's appointment later that morning. Tertius and Quarta were both home sick, and played quietly in their room. As we sat chatting, I started feeling... funny. Not HAHA funny, but rather, somehow off in a way that I really couldn't describe. Within 10 minutes of the onset, I felt like I needed to put my head down, so I must have felt some sort of low-grade dizziness. Then I had to close my eyes, and I absolutely felt dizzy by that point.

I thought I was having a blood sugar issue, and my blood glucose tests seemed to bear that out, but when the nausea hit, and the clammy sweat began, and the falling sensation started, we knew I needed to get to a doctor. T called our friend A, and the three of us figured out a plan for getting T to the dentist, and me to the ER. I texted Hubby to let him know what was happening, and that I'd keep him updated.

When A arrived, I was sitting on the sofa with my head laying on the arm. We talked about her driving the kids and I to my parents' house, dropping the kids off there, then taking me to the hospital to get looked at. Once Tertius and Quarta's coats and shoes were on, she asked me if I could get up and into her car on my own, and that's when the world started moving out of my control. I sat up, then laid right back down again, on the other couch cushion, unable to stand. A took decisive action and called the ambulance, and I called Hubby in the middle of class to tell him the ambulance had been called - he only answered because he knew something was going on, and me calling would only be in an emergency.

The EMTs got there and did an assessment; the decision was made to transport me to the hospital. I had the chance to call the kids over and explain to them that Mummy was feeling very dizzy and sick, and that the nice men were going to take me to the hospital to help me feel better, and that A was taking them to stay with Granpa and Grandma while that happened. A put my shoes on and the EMTs helped me to stand, walk down the stairs, and get me onto the gurney (I felt like I was falling the whole time, and also like I was leaning horribly to the right). The wave of nausea crashed over me hard, and the dry retching started.

T got picked up, A bundled the kids into her car, and we were all off. I think the door got locked, and my purse was grabbed and put in A's car. The ambulance stayed parked at the end of the driveway for a few minutes while they got some Gravol into me and asked me some more questions. Then I went for the worst car ride of my life. If you ever feel dizzy and nauseous, please avoid driving anywhere.

It took a while to get into the ER proper, and the awesome EMTs stayed with me the whole time. Hubby arrived not long after I did, followed quickly by A. She stayed until I was safely tucked into the ER, and Hubby never left my side. The diagnosis was vertigo, brought on by a nasty viral infection. T kept in touch with Hubby to see how I was, and A went home and made soup for my whole family for dinner. Arrangements were made for my dad to pick the other kids up from school, and they hung out with G&G until I was discharged around 5, I think.

I was still not feeling well; having frequent dizzy spells and nausea. The prescription for vertigo meds was filled, and we headed over to my parents for rest and dinner. Hubby was only able to get a few spoons full of soup into me, so he popped out to the store for Powerade and the prescription. I was still getting hit with overwhelming waves of dizziness and nausea every time my head moved. Mumsy hated seeing me so powerless, and as she also has vertigo, she knew exactly how bad off I was. It was decided that I just couldn't make it back up the stairs that night, so we arranged for Uncle J to kid wrangle overnight, and Hubby and I would couch surf at the 'rents. My father has been experiencing increasingly poor health over the past two years, and his hemoglobin levels had slowly been declining, causing extreme fatigue for him. We've been very worried about his health, but his GP (who retired in December) just chalked it up to getting older.

And here is where I see the hand of God in all of this.

Because I was on the couch, I could hear my father labouring to breathe in his sleep, and his restlessness. Because I was on the couch, I heard my parents whispering at 6:50 AM, talking about how horribly he'd slept, and about the angina he'd been feeling all night. At that, I was wide awake, trying to sit up, and informed them that I was calling an ambulance. By God's grace, Dad didn't argue. Instead, he sighed and said, "Okay."

He spent the next 16 days in hospital, trying to build up his hemoglobin, and undergoing numerous tests to try to determine the cause (without much success, I might add).

It's one thing to come face-to-face with your own frailty, but quite another to be faced with your parent's mortality. I have watched my parents' health decline to the point that I worry for them almost daily.

This wasn't in the manual.

Uncomfortable Truths

Tertius had asked for a playdate with a friend, and the plan was to go to the park near their school after class let out. Now, this park is lovely; it's where we held Tertius' birthday party last month. There's a decent playground, lots of open green space, well-maintained tennis courts, and a good amount of shade from mature trees. But it also has a seedier side. There have been a number of petty crimes (holding people up, fights, etc) there, people misuse the public washroom to do drugs and have sex, and it tends to be populated in the late afternoons/evenings by some pretty unsavory characters.

But at 2:30, it's pretty safe for the primary crowd, so away we went.

My Journey of Hope: The Room of DOOM - Before and After

That's right, you heard me.

Doom.

DOOM!

Tertius and Quarta's room has been the bane of my existence since they could pull thing off of the shelves (which coincidentally, preceded walking by a few months). It's messy, it's overcrowded. and it's not being used to its fullest potential in any way, shape, or form. It was less-than-helpful that our cat, Saffron, viewed Quarta as her main competition, and decided to exert her dominance by urinating on Quarta's clothes and belongings, stinking up the joint like nobody's business!

Hubby and I have been systematically chipping away at the mess; reminders throughout the day to "pick up 20 things" are met alternately with excitement, or with eye rolls and groans, but they've been making headway. Very, very slow headway. And as often as not, for all the progress they made, they'd reward themselves by pulling out half again as many toys to play with. So, I was just sick of it; the mess, the smell, the constant roller coaster ride of cleanliness,  and I needed to step in. The end result is that I spent the better part of 5 or 6 hours in there over the last two days, trying to not only tame the overwhelming mess, but also to find the source of the cat urine problem.

This was taken about two hours into cleaning, so it already looks miles better than before

This is what I found when I pulled out the rolling cart that Tertius stores some of his toys in

Quarta's dresser is to the left, with her rolling cart toy storage; the dresser in the center has extra sheets, and costumes stashed away.

In the process of cleaning, I located three sources of the urine stench - in front of Tertius' dresser, under the bunk beds, and in the closet. The room reeked, and I don't know how they could stand the smell. And there I was, without baking soda to neutralize the odour! That red bag you see in the photo above? That's most of the garbage I pulled out of their room. Not just garbage, but anything that had been peed on and was not salvageable.  I soaked an untold number of Lego pieces and Hot Wheels cars to get rid of the stench overnight. Given the number of Pokemon cards I had to toss, I think the kids both learned a valuable lesson.

I had each child help me individually, which I feel worked very well, and together, we got everything off the floor, and even from under the bed. We left it last night like this:

Hey, there's a carpet under there!

you can't see the cat urine, but it's there... but at least the mess isn't!

SOO much better!

The next step is finishing up the closet, then taking the Bissel Little Green Machine to the carpet and try to get rid of the smell.

I'll keep you posted!

My Journey of Hope: Getting Buy-In

This weekend has been all about buy-in for me.

First up, my parents. They are both dealing with myriad health issues, and the biggest thing they're facing right now is my father's newly discovered kidney disease. It is causing a great deal of fatigue for him, to the point that walking from the living room to the bathroom makes him winded. And forget about stairs! So, adjustments have been made in the house to accommodate their current needs, but their food storage was still an issue, as was making healthy meals. They have been relying more heavily on canned and packaged foods of late, which isn't as good as whole foods, but with limited ability to access the freezer in the basement, that complicated things.

My brother, sis-in-law and nephew were visiting this weekend, so we took the opportunity to bring a luncheon feast to them all. We even invited BioDad's father over, because after all, he's family. I made a rather spectacular creamy baked potato soup, and we had salads, chips and deli buns to enjoy. Mumsy went out to the store and picked up dessert, too!

While there, Bro, Hubby, and I had a chance to talk about some solutions for the food issue, and we presented the following idea: they have two ancient freezers (no really; one is something like 50 years old) in the basement, both full to the brim with food of unknown age and condition. Bro and I have volunteered to go through both of them, tossing anything outdated or freezer-burnt, and condensing what's left. We then suggested that they look at buying a new upright freezer that lives on the main floor, and we would batch-cook things like spaghetti sauce, chili, meat loaf, lasagna, etc. and freeze them in two portions. Then all they have to do is get a freezer bag or foil loaf pan out the night before, and cook up the side dishes while it cooks.

Thankfully, both of our parents were really on board with the idea! Of course, the moment I mentioned putting the old freezers out to pasture, he got this slightly panicked look on his face - we can't get rid of something useful, right? Baby steps - we'll start with de-cluttering the freezers, and see where it leads, but he did admit that neither appliance is very energy-conscious and would likely lower their power bill to have them shut off. It's so heartening to see progress being made.

Sunday saw me without a vehicle, so I was unable to attend church, though Primus got a ride from Hubby before he left for the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) event going on this weekend. (Side story: when Primus arrived at church, the man leading the worship team was disappointed that P was not on the platform, guitar in hand. He had jammed with them at the Thursday practice and got great response, and I think they all kind of expected that he would be playing. He had to let them know that he was in charge of media today, but nonetheless, they gave him copies of the music, complete with guitar chords, that he can now practice at home. What a great boost to his self-esteem! I'm so stinkin' proud of that kid.)

Because we were stuck at home, I decided to declare it Pajama Day, and Tertius, Quarta and I stayed in our jammie-jams all day long - you should have seen the confusion when Hubby and I told them to get their jammies on for bed tonight! We watched Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, followed by a show that Secunda requested, "Attacking the Devil: Harold Evans and the Last Nazi War Crime", a documentary on Thalidomide babies, and the newspaper campaign of truth that blew the story open in the 1970s. Fascinating show. The little guys had some questions, so we talked about the birth defects, the improper testing, and the shoddy compensation offered to families. It also gave me the opportunity to talk to them about how such birth defects rarely affect cognitive ability, how these men and women overcame the limitations this medication placed upon them, and how they are able to function quite well in the world.

When we took a break for them to practice their breakdance routine that they're doing for the talent show at school, I went downstairs to the office, which had begun to get cluttered again. I spent a few minutes assessing what I can do (starting with putting a few items up on the 24 hour bidding site), and by the time Tertius and Quarta came inside, I had a bag at the ready. We quickly picked up about 20 pieces of garbage, and made it look much nicer in there! I had no whining, no cajoling, and no resistance to the task as presented to them. It put such a smile on my face!

So, not a lot of work got done around here because of my painful hands, but dishes got completely caught up again, progress was made in the office, and a big step has started for my parents' home.

Talk about a weekend of win!

My Journey of Hope: The De-Cluttering Continues!

I was at the dollar store with Secunda today, picking up flower pots for a fairy garden workshop we were doing later in the evening. While there, I had the lovely idea of finding a method of better organizing the bathroom drawer that Tertius and Quarta share. Up until now, the only measure I'd taken to tame the chaos in the drawer was to put a narrow plastic tray in there to contain the toothbrushes and toothpaste, which had become woefully inadequate. It seemed that the toothbrushes were breeding (another area that my children hoard items), the most recent trip to the dentist had yielded two new mini-tubes of paste, and the whole drawer was well past due for an overhaul.

My Journey of Hope: Day 28 of 28 - Creating (and keeping!) An Oasis Of Calm, Part Two

Okay, you've been very patient with me, so here are the photos of the front deck at this stage of completeness. I just need to update my chair, the table, and the carpet, and perhaps add some lighting. Then it will be perfect for us!

My own little flower planter! Pansies and verbena

Secunda's birthday cineraria (round pot), and Secunda's' planter full of pansies, heliotrope and verbena

My tea roses from the hobbitses' school (round pot), and Tertius' planter of pansies, heliotrope and nemesia

Our wee strawberry patch!

Enjoying breakfast on a sunny day! Our herbs are planted in the green pots hanging from the railing: lemon balm, winter savoury, cilantro, basil and oregano