Ode To A Wobbly Pop

O, golden nectar, blessed elixir of drunk-texting
Resting serenely in a pale blue goblet
Dew-drops of condensation balancing on the shapely curves of my glass;
Would that I had Jedi mind powers and could will you to rise to my eager, waiting mouth
To pour your glittering goodness down my throat.

The joy you bring to me, your cooling balm soothes the burning within me
And though I will want another, and then another in quick succession,
The uneven gait of your tell-tale alcohol content gives me pause;
For I do not wish to look a drunkard in front of the new neighbors.

And so I content myself with a solitary glass, savouring each drop
Like the happy little mouth party they are,
Watching the level sinking in my glass is bittersweet
For I long to keep you with me,
My glass of liquid sunshine.

Fighting With The Legends of Yore - And Sleep

I probably haven't mentioned this yet, but I'm a geek. A bona fide, certifiable, Star Wars-watching, Doctor Who-obsessing, Harry Potter-loving, D&D playing, mediaeval-re-creating geek.

Tonight was our usual biweekly Dungeons & Dragons session. Now, we don't dress up like dwarves and elves and wield foam swords - that's LARP (Live Action Role Play). No, this is much more pedestrian, with a group of us sitting around the table (or chilling in the living room when it's not a sauna), rolling dice and speaking as if we were our characters. It's a fun way to allow us to take on a different persona for a few hours a couple of times a month, hang out with our friends and tune out of technology.

My character in this current campaign is a human rogue, or thief. This means I'm awesome at detecting traps (Admiral Ackbar, anyone?), disarming them, and moving very, very quietly to sneak up on my opponents and attack them from behind.

Tonight's session saw us clearing out a Drow (dark elf) stronghold, freeing the Dwarven captives and getting LOOT! Cool stuff for everyone, and lots of money to buy what we didn't find.

I've noticed though, that I've been having trouble staying awake for the whole session. For a few months now. The last time this happened, I was pregnant - no, I'm NOT pregnant - so I'm wondering what the cause of this game-night fatigue is. I really enjoy game, so I don't think it's boredom. I was just sent for a whole whack of blood tests, so maybe it will show anemia or something - some explanation for how tired I am. Maybe it's blood sugar. I have high blood sugar, and my customary double Mars bar may need to go the way of the dodo. I don't eat a lot of sweets at any other time, but I do allow myself a "cheat" day on game nights. Maybe more veggies and cheese snacks are in order, and fewer chips and chocolate bars. It's certainly not going to hurt me to eat better.

I Scream

"Fudgy Wudgy was a bear..." No, that's not right.

Our plan today was that once Hubby was home from his last day at school, we'd all pile into the van and go across the border to our favourite dairy for great huge gobs of ice cream (plus load up on milk, cheese, butter and the like, saving us about $30 over prices at home).

Things went a wee bit cock-eyed, though, when my ex-husband (BioDad, or BD) called this morning to see if he could pick up Primus and Secunda to go visit his mother. He told me that she had called his father to tell him that she was going to die today, and she wanted to say goodbye to the children. I should explain... she has Huntington's Chorea (also known as Huntington's Disease) and was diagnosed about 13 years ago. She lives in the hospital, on an extended care ward. She is also being treated for depression and psychosis, so while the announcement was startling, it is being taken with the bushel of salt it merits. Anyway, back to our story: it's Secunda's weekend to go see BD, and they're out of school, so I figured an hour-long visit in the morning would be no bad thing. That way, Primus would get to spend some time with them (BD doesn't usually ask to see them more than the schedule sets out), and we'd still be able to stick to our plan. I went out with the two littlest hobbitses to pick a few things up, intending to get back here for when the big guys returned. While in transit, I got a text asking if they could stay with BD for lunch as his father wanted to take them out. It was still early enough to stick to the plan, so I said yes. What ended up happening is that they went out for ice cream, then to do some of BD's shopping at Wally World, and *then* to lunch. This put a significant crimp in our plans, and when Hubby got home from work early, he really wanted to get going and celebrate the end of school. This was not happy-making in our house.

So, after a couple of texts and one phone call, we managed to find a middle ground; they'd have lunch, we'd pick them up from the restaurant and head out from there.

And then Secunda had to turn into a recalcitrant three year old.

Why is it that whenever we really, *really* need to go somewhere, she thinks that's the perfect time to re-enact Monty Python's "How Not To Be Seen" skit? Anyway, I spoke to her twice, and she didn't come out of hiding until BD's new wife said, "Your mother is *speaking* to you." I've got to give her credit; I appreciate her having my back like that. But it's unfortunate that she had to do it. I'm really hoping that this is just a blip on the radar and not a portent of what is to come with her adolescence.

The rest of the day went fine, we saw her off to BD's house safely and Hubby and Primus are now out for some guy time. I'll be dropping the wee hobbitses at my parents' house for a sleep-over so we can help our friend move tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to a quiet evening with Hubby - a rare occurence in this house! But I still have this lingering uneasiness about how easily Secunda can disregard me. I think this bears some heart-to-heart time in the near future, because I want to ensure that while I am nurturing her independence, I'm also teaching her to continue to show respect for people.

*sigh* This wasn't in the manual.

School's Out For Summer...

Today was the last day of school, and I have to admit to feeling a little...underwhelmed.

Maybe it's getting older, or the dreary weather that looks decidedly un-summery. Perhaps it's simply low blood sugar or not enough sleep, but the culmination of the school year felt kind of anti-climactic for me. A very definite part of it was reading the wrong time for Primus' awards assembly on the PAC Facebook page and, thinking I was getting there early, walking in to an assembly that was already underway. Thankfully, I didn't miss Primus' big moment - earning 'A' Honours - but the surprise I had arranged for him, that of having Hubby in attendance, fell flat when Hubby walked in to the gym just two minutes after he had been congratulated by the administration and had returned to his seat. Hubby looked livid, and I was just heartsick that he missed this public acknowledgement of his son's achievement. I felt bad for both of them.

After the assembly, I took Tertius and Quarta to the produce market for what I like to call "Bickering Over the Basket". This is a fun little game, wherein one will race the other to get to the nifty shopping baskets that have the long handle and wheels, designed so that your preschoolers can run around the displays all demolition-derby style,sending random grapes flying out of it, terrifying little old ladies and causing employees to grasp wildly for hurtling turnips as they careen past at breakneck speed. Of course, this is all done with the other sibling giving chase with screams of, "It's MY turn to pull the basket!" or "Give that back - you're a bad girl!" and one defeated, harried mother quietly mumbling, "Would the two of you please be respectful to each other?"

Yeah, that's us.

Once we were done there, it was home for an early lunch, then World War III when I told them to pause their movie after only 40 minutes (what am I, the Anti-Christ? Sheesh.) to go and pick up their older siblings from the penitentiary Place of Higher Learning for the last time until September. There was much staunch refusal and gnashing of teeth, but I was firm in my resolve and was eventually victorious. The 20 minutes they had in the playground was clearly not enough, because they were refusing to leave there, too.

In retrospect, I think I've figured out why today's school wrap-up seemed like a let-down; when you function on a day-to-day basis at such a high level of tension , anything not stressful seems...alien. Makes me wonder how the rest of the summer is going to feel.

Anyone want to take bets on how many days in before I'm counting down to September?

Approach-Avoidance Conflict

I haz it.

Most often in relation to crafts. When I start a project, I'll go gangbusters on it for a time, get past the halfway mark, or indeed, have the finish line in my sights, then my productivity on it grinds to a screeching halt. It then languishes in the bottom of my craft pile for days, months, sometimes even years, and I've been working on figuring out why (mostly so I can learn how to not do it anymore).

Take my current project. I'm embroidering a panel for a friend's cloak, a gift for his elevation to the Order of the Laurel in the SCA (Laurels are people who have been recognised for outstanding achievement in the arts & sciences; SCA stands for Society for Creative Anachronism, the mediaeval group I play in). His elevation is in three weeks, and I have to have the panel back in Seattle by July 6th. It has sat, mostly complete for well over a week while I spent that time trying to figure out if I possessed the artistic skill to freehand draw three triskeles on the design to embellish it further. When I finally sat down to do it, it too me all of 10 minutes to draw and baste the lines onto the fabric. I don't know why I doubted myself.

I think I understand the main reason I procrastinate on completing projects. I am a process junkie; for me, the joy is in the doing, not the finishing. With every thing I make, I pour myself into it, the very best of myself, to give the recipient a tangible reminder of my esteem for them. In the case of largesse items I make, it is the esteem with which I hold my branch, principality or kingdom that can be seen in every stitch, every brush stroke, every scratch of ink and every length of trim. And I learn to love what I work on. They become a part of me, and sometimes, that's hard to let go of; but I think I've figured out a way to beat the end-of-project blahs.

I've started choosing projects that have concrete deadlines, such as my current project. Yes, that needs to get done this week. And then I can return to my blackwork needle books, which have no deadline and will get done when they are darn good and ready. I think that if I can learn to strike a healthy balance between deadline items and non-deadline items, I can get more accomplished *and* feel better about laying down one item to spend an hour or two on another, so long as everything gets done.

Here's to balance.

Of Midnight Cupcakes and Postcards

The rest of the house is gone to bed, and I am waiting for a batch of red velvet cupcakes to bake. Then I get to wake up early to ice them so that Secunda can take them to her class party. This was sprung on me this afternoon in that way that only 8 year old girls can do, with the cow eyes and the hopeful look and the insouciance that only the young possess. Of course I'd make a treat for class with no notice and no chance to run to the store; and of course I'll do it by myself while you carry the tray into your classroom in the morning with an overblown sense of ownership of the labour taken to create these delectable little bites.

Of course. How could I possibly look into the eyes of my child and say no?

So, here I sit, waiting for the timer to go, releasing me from my doughy sentence, filling that gap with formatting "let's stay in touch" postcards for the little hobbitses to hand out to their friends in that mad, final frenzy of hugs, and awkward adolescent high fives and fist bumps.

Does that make me SuperMum?

No.

But it sure makes me feel like I'm doing right by my kids, contributing to their sense of celebration, and fostering their need to build social connections outside of school. Goodness knows, it will be hard enough to drag them out to the splash park this summer; I can use the help.

Today's Happy Little Latin Lesson

And now, for my edification, a brief lesson in gender suffixes on Latin words.

My children shall be known here as Hobbitses Primus, Secunda, Tertius and Quarta. I love that Hubby speaks Latin, so I don't look a fool here :)

One Day More

To quote those beautiful lyrics from Les Miserables,

"One more dawn
One more day
One day more!"

Today sees me gathering snacks and other attention-holding things for the two littlest hobbitses, so that I can peacefully attend Hobbit Secundus' year-end assembly this afternoon. I know that they're singing "On Top of Spaghetti", plus a filk* of "Old MacDonald". I've also heard it referred to as an awards assembly, so who knows what's in store!

Tomorrow morning, our last of this school year, I'll be repeating the process in order to attend the intermediate awards assembly for Hobbit Primus. Now for this one, his teacher called to ensure I'd be there, so I know he's getting recognised for something. I expect it will be academic honours of some kind, as he had A Honours last year. But he's also been very active in student leadership, so I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out!

And then, for one blessed, beautiful day, I can sleep in as long as I like. Wait - you thought I was serious? You're so cute! No, I won't be able to sleep in just yet, because my beloved still has to go to school on Friday morning, so the alarm will jar me from my rest on my first day of summer vacation. Then we're helping a friend move on Saturday morning. And then there's church on Sunday. I know, first world problems...


* A filk is taking an existing song and setting new lyrics to it, much like 'Weird Al'. According to my husband the bard, this was done in the mediaeval period as well. Hubby and I also write filks.

Storm Before The Calm

As I mentioned, I'm a mother of four; our two oldest are in elementary school. I have been noticing a shift in everyone's mood in this last week, and I really hope that it's just temporary insanity and not a sign of how the whole summer will play out. I have to say, I'm really looking forward to not having to set my alarm every morning, but not if it's going to be like this.

Normally, I walk into the bedroom shared by my two youngest to find my 4-year old playing quietly, and I can wake my 2 year old up gently, resulting in smiles and hugs as she slowly draws herself out of her slumber. This morning, they were both awake before me and arguing already. Not the idyllic beginning to my day I had hoped for!

My 11 year old has environmental allergies that affect his mood. He takes daily medication to help with this, and those take about an hour to reach full efficacy. In the interim, he's moody, broody and sullen. Today, he seemed even moreso. Now, I don't know if this is standard 11 year old behaviour, or if it's allergy-driven, but it's not okay in my house. His attitude got him grounded from his iPod today, and it was barely 8:15.

My 8 year old is smart, funny, caring and easily distracted. But she seems even more scattered than usual, which seems to particularly annoy my husband in the morning. Today, she couldn't find the enormous jar of peanut butter, which has lived in the same cupboard for the entire time we've lived here (okay, we've only lived here for three months, but this kid makes a LOT of PB&J sandwiches...)

All of this culminated in a disagreement between my beloved and I, which has started both of our days off on the wrong foot.

When it seems that everyone has gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, how do you press the reset button?

For me, it all starts with two balloons. Nothing lifts your mood like blowing up balloons for your two preschoolers, then sitting back and watching them bat them around the living room, laughing and squealing with delight.

Reset, indeed :)

Welcome To My World!

Greetings, friends!

After some careful thought, some soul-searching and by finally giving into my desire to share something of myself, I have once again taken a leap off the precipice into the world of blogging.

This is going to be, in turns, somewhat 'stream of consciousness', photo journal, confessional, project tracker, bullhorn, soapbox and proud mother billboard. I make no apologies for how jumbled this is all going to look; it will probably closely resemble the way my brain is organised! Also, beware - I use Canadian/British spelling - if it looks odd to you, that's because it's spelled correctly ;)

And so, to begin, a little about the Busy Little Bee. I've chosen this name for a few reasons. My name means 'honeybee', I have chosen the bee as my personal emblem because of its mediaeval symbolism (that being well-governed industry and female potency - describing me aptly), and so many people in my life remark on a regular basis that they don't know how I get so much done in a day. Well, busy people are productive people! I am a woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, follower of Christ, defender of the underdog, believer in marriage equality, a parent who believes in experiential learning and natural consequences, that nobody died from getting a smack on their bum as a child, that who we choose to love is nobody's business but our own, that we are the best governors of our own bodies, that we learn best from our mistakes - and that we should not fear to make them.

I am opinionated, but try to be respectful in expressing it. I have lived long enough in the pursuit of other people's acceptance that I no longer desire that; rather, I seek to become a better me, someone that I would want to be friends with, and if other people like me, then that's gravy. I am happily married to my soul mate. Yes, I believe there is one person out there uniquely suited for each of us, and I was lucky enough to find mine. I have four incredible, beautiful children who delight me, vex me, frustrate me beyond words, and will be fodder for many, MANY blog entries in the future. I have the great privilege to be able to stay at home to raise these wonderful little humans (most likely referred to hereafter as 'the hobbitses'), although I am also looking forward to the day when diapers are a memory and the littlest hobbit is in school :)

I am also a businesswoman. I run a home-based business whose company philosophy is in keeping with my own beliefs. I may blog about that here, or not. I maintain a business blog for that purpose as well.

I've wanted to write for some time, but have been at loose ends as to *what*. I do not have a novel in me; there will be no frantic NaNoWriMo scribblings from me. But I also feel that my voice, my story, and my experiences have merit and may be interesting to someone out there, and so, I take to this digital medium (I can hear my brother crying a little as he writes his novel out long-hand) and for lack of a better term, hang out my shingle.

Thank you for reading this far, please pull up a chair, subscribe to my blog, give me feedback and enjoy the ride!