Uncomfortable Truths

Tertius had asked for a playdate with a friend, and the plan was to go to the park near their school after class let out. Now, this park is lovely; it's where we held Tertius' birthday party last month. There's a decent playground, lots of open green space, well-maintained tennis courts, and a good amount of shade from mature trees. But it also has a seedier side. There have been a number of petty crimes (holding people up, fights, etc) there, people misuse the public washroom to do drugs and have sex, and it tends to be populated in the late afternoons/evenings by some pretty unsavory characters.

But at 2:30, it's pretty safe for the primary crowd, so away we went.


About 10 minutes before we were due to leave, Quarta needed to use the washroom, so we walked over. I heard someone in there, so I took her coat off while we were waiting. At that point, another mother walked over to me and asked if we were waiting for the washroom, then let us know that she had observed a young woman and young man walk into the bathroom together about five minutes earlier. I thanked her for the information, and began to ponder how I was going to explain this one to Quarta.

The five year old bladder is not used to waiting for prolonged periods of time, so I knocked loudly on the door and said, "There's a 5 year old out here that needs the bathroom." The woman replied, "I'm terribly sorry, but I need to go to the bathroom, too." I rolled my eyes and my inside voice was saying, "Riiiiight...you're 'going to the bathroom'. Sure."

It took close to another five minutes before first the woman, attired for strolling slowly on street corners, then the scungy young man, exited the bathroom. Neither one of them made eye contact with us, and they ducked around the corner of the structure pretty dang fast.

Quarta, of singular purpose, started into the bathroom, and I had to snap to get her to stop. There was no way that I was letting her go in there until I'd looked for used hypodermics, condoms or other paraphernalia of the suspected illicit activities that had just been concluded. Thankfully, there was nothing out in the open, so I only had to wipe down the toilet seat and counter before letting her in.

Of course, being the highly intelligent and observant child that she is, she asked me why they were going pee together. Thus, I was faced with a dilemma; do I tell her the uncomfortable truth and take her rose coloured glasses off at 5 years old, or do I lie? I think I found a good compromise - I told her that they weren't going pee, but that they were doing something they shouldn't in there. When she got a look at the condition of the bathroom, her sweet, innocent mind drew its own conclusion. Pointing to the dirty toilet bowl, and the paper towels littered on the floor, she declared, "They were making a mess in here!" She was quite incensed that they would treat the park she likes so poorly. And for now, for today at least, I left it at that. We can have that conversation another time, perhaps when she's a little older. I'm content to let my little girl be just that - a little girl for a space yet.